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Lee MurDa

[ website | my dead journal ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(puff da L)

[10 Apr 2004|11:57am]
new journal, niggaaaazz... new lj name=SWP</>

(4 hitz | puff da L)

stuff [04 Mar 2002|08:09am]


I am 22% CANADIAN!!!

(Take the Canadian-ness test)

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] quiz!>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<!-- Put the following HTML code into your website -->
<table border='0' width='185'>
<td bgcolor='#ffffff' align='center'>
<a href='http://absolutek.com/canadiantest/'><img src='http://absolutek.com/canadiantest/iamcanadian.jpg' border='0' alt='I AM CANADIAN'></a><br><hr>
<font color='#000000'><b>I am 22% CANADIAN!!!</b></font><br>
<font color='#000000' size='1'>(<a href='http://absolutek.com/canadiantest/'>Take the Canadian-ness test</a>)</font>

<a href=http://www.vanillateardrops.com/quiz.html target=blank><img src=http://www.vanillateardrops.com/match5.gif border=0 alt=Take the Celeb Match Quiz!>

(3 hitz | puff da L)

took from someone else's journal [26 Feb 2002|01:36pm]
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't
beat a Blowjob.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're

(puff da L)

here [26 Feb 2002|01:34pm]


Woah, dude, too far. You're totally unsuitable
for anybody under the age of 17, and for society
in general. Tough break...

"Which Movie Classification Are You?"
Test created by Jamie - take it here.

If I was an Autobot, I'd be:

Click to see what Autobot you could be!

Take the Transformers personality test at android5.com!

(12 hitz | puff da L)

ooh baby phat!! [21 Feb 2002|02:22pm]

(1 hitz | puff da L)

ooh [21 Feb 2002|01:33pm]
im hatin!! i want 0ne!!

(puff da L)

ugh [20 Feb 2002|02:12pm]
watch me do my thang
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-cuttext="whatever>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

watch me do my thang <lj-cuttext="whatever you want"> watch me do my thang

(puff da L)

here [20 Feb 2002|01:08pm]

Which 80's tv toon are YOU? | made by kt of p-e.org.

(puff da L)

aaaaa [19 Feb 2002|01:39pm]

For whom does the human skull shed tears? It sheds tears for you.

Find out what YOUR inner non-sequitur is!

quiz by A.V. Phibes

(1 hitz | puff da L)

here [13 Feb 2002|02:16pm]


(puff da L)

NevA ChaNge.. <^>( ' ; ' )<^> [13 Feb 2002|02:01pm]
[ mood | content ]

fuK..hataz..word on h..kuz people be fukkin hatin on my lifestyle..U PEOPLE AINT FUKKIN LIVIN IT SO DONT WORRY BOUT IT..if u my friend den support me..if not den fukk u..i still got my original friends tho..fukkin people..yea im a hoe and im gone to hell and im stubborn and i wanna be black..sayin i cant beat a black girl..people jus dont fukkin kno..and sayin im a big disguise..WELL AT LEAST NOW I KNO WHO DA FUK MY REAL FRIENDZ IS....den she gone ask me why i aint gone down da same steps wit her like we still cool..fuk no if u think so bad about me -u dont kno me -and i dont wanna talk to u..because dats grimey..tryna pull a fast one forreal forreal sayin i neva been arrested--u aint kno me my whole dam life..dont assume shit..den gone sit at our lunch table at lunch wen im da only person ova der dats da reason she would sit ova der anywayz..yep well im a piece of trash..fake gangster..ya thats me..ok well um..otha den dat me n my dad got into a big ass fite las nite but i aint even cry or get offended wen he called me a bitch n shit kuz las time he did it, it was so serious dat it jus scarred me for life and i was so depressed afterwards..dat nofin even matters..dats why i aint really care bout me n joe breakin up as much as i thought i would..like im almost already over him and tamara sayin dat shit bout me..fuk dat..i dont need people like dat in my life..and fukkin my parents tryna bitch--i dont need it..i have myself..dats all i need..im makin in dis world...if u dont like smokin weed, dont smoke..but i like it..not kuz it relieves stress..jus kuz i like gettin high..it feels nice..if im a bitch kuz i do it..then ur a bitch kuz u dont..kuz its optional..and dats all i have to say about the topic..peace.

<-._.-Lee MurDa-._.-._.->>



(puff da L)

here [12 Feb 2002|02:06pm]
Published Friday, December 7, 2001
Spit or swallow? It's all about the sauce

Sex and the (Elm) City

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At the tender age of 14 my best friend Alison and I decided that the time had come to master the blow job. Yes, young, I know. But we didn't want practical, hands-on (or mouth-on) experience, we just wanted to know what to do in case the occasion ever arose that we would have to lose our respective oral innocence and take the plunge. Walk the plank. Head (sorry) into uncharted territory. Technically, we wanted to improve our fellatio IQ. We were certain that, some day in the future, we would be, uh, tested, if you will.

One humid summer afternoon, slightly embarrassed and rather unsure of ourselves, we snuck into Alison's kitchen and came out armed with produce. Bananas and carrots, we found, fit the bill for our purposes; they were the right shape (more or less), and we could tailor the length to our preferences. Plus, we were hungry and wanted a low-fat and enjoyable snack.

Convulsing in laughter, partly because of the hilarity of the situation and partly because of embarrassment, we kneeled at the side of Alison's bed. We laid a very instructive Cosmopolitan magazine out in front of us, to, uh, direct traffic, and we sucked produce like it was our job. We criticized each other's performance, rating one another on various categories that we had formulated beforehand -- endurance, strength, originality and creative use of body parts. It was like the blow job Olympics, only it wasn't televised, and we didn't quite have a live audience yet. But we were certainly working up to that point -- slowly and steadily.

Due to a short bout with bulimia, Alison could put almost a full banana down her throat. Perplexed by the magnitude of her accomplishment, I asked her to help me with my own technique. It was at this moment, surrounded by peels of various sorts, with bananas thrust down our throats, that Alison's mother walked in. Needless to say, she was puzzled at WHY we were doing all this eating on Alison's bedroom floor and asked who would lick a carrot before she ate it anyway? We had no answer. She quickly concluded half-heartedly that we probably wouldn't be too hungry for dinner. We weren't.

Years later, when I was no longer on Alison's floor, I realized that although helpful, produce does not prepare one for the crucial blow job moment. Let's be honest -- when was the last time a carrot ejaculated on you at the salad bar?

Thus, as Hamlet does, I say, to spit or not to spit? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sour tastes of a thousand sperm or to bring a cup, and take arms against a sea of troubles--

I am an avid swallow supporter. (Wow. My popularity rating just skyrocketed with the male demographic.) I figure that swallowing is like taking cough syrup. Sure it's a little painful at first, but eventually the taste will go away, and it's pure lovin' from then on.

Surprisingly, I found that eight times out of 10, Yalies agree with me on this point. Especially males. When asked, most replied that this question should not even be addressed. It was a non-issue. Swallowing, they all said, is clearly where it's at. Some even thought it was an honor to swallow (I swear).

"Our bodies have been working to produce that stuff all day long," a pre-med student said. "You're getting some really good nutrients; I mean, we're giving you our best and our brightest."

You're right. You have superstar cum.

I asked one blow job aficionado about the calorie question. This has secretly always been a concern of mine. If I'm playing for team salad, I don't want to lose points with my extracurricular activities. Soothing my worries, he vehemently asked me to dispel the myth about the extraordinary number of calories per serving. Cum is actually surprisingly low-calorie as well as chock full of vitamin E, which just happens to be great for your skin. What a relief!

Despite my personal opinion about the matter, spit is still a choice made by those who take the road less traveled. Thus, it certainly merits being addressed.

Spitting, I've found is quite an extravagant operation. It adds accessories to foreplay: a cup, a towel, and something to wipe your mouth with (perhaps a wet-nap?). These items comprise what we might call a "spit kit." They may be easy to round up beforehand if you know that a little somethin' somethin' might be taking place. Yet, imagine a situation in which play pops up out of the blue. It is not always easy to procure these items at short notice. I highly doubt that a spit kit of any kind would fit into an evening bag during a night on the town (or at SAE -- whatever). Regardless, a purse made expressly for the storage of lipstick, money, cell phone and keys is not about to accommodate a bath towel and dinnerware -- it's hard enough shoving a pack of gum in there.

Aside from arguments about convenience, taste and fat content, there were two rather interesting issues that were spurted into the spotlight by those who preferred to spit.

First, there was the question of sweet things like care and tenderness. "If he makes you swallow, he really doesn't love or respect you." This is all fine and good, but quite frankly, when was the last time you hooked up with someone who respected you, much less loved you? High school?

A close friend of mine stated, "I spit because whenever I swallow it goes up my nose. Can you talk about that? I bet I'm not the only one with that problem."

Actually, I hate to break it to you honey, you are. We are all stupider for having heard that statement, I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

As this is the last column of the semester, I would just like to wish everyone luck on finals, and a very happy holiday season. Whether you choose to spit or swallow, this holiday season, may your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be -- white.

(puff da L)

shit [12 Feb 2002|01:46pm]

(puff da L)

ahh [12 Feb 2002|01:44pm]


(puff da L)

... [11 Feb 2002|01:03pm]

What is YOUR Highschool label?

(puff da L)

ah [11 Feb 2002|12:57pm]

I am ELMO.

I'm cute, cute, as a button!

Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

(puff da L)

ugh [08 Feb 2002|04:16pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

from now on im makin my entries friends only ..because whoeva keep replyin to dat one entry is gettin petty..and dey need to get dey mind right..so if u on my friends list..u lucky. if u wanna be added..hit me up on instant messager: sLug prooFz

(puff da L)

hmm [06 Feb 2002|07:27pm]
i walk in da room like da join was a crime scene/im high as fuck so da whole room is lime green/start spittin auto biographiez kuz u kno dat im a rhyme fiend/u cant see it comin down so i gotta put my life on wide screen/been heartbroken too many times so im livin in solitude/i try to cover my emptiness wit da smiles n lotsa jewlz/lifes neva fair so sumtimes i gotta cheat ta win/i feel as tho im lookin at life from immortal skin/gotta carry da family traditionz tho..gankin niggaz of they family values/im runnin up on someones front yard n soilin ya grandmoms house shoez/dis aint a joke but it aint a battle/kuz i hate wen niggaz come at me wit a bunch of useless prattle [noun: idle or foolish and irrelevant talk]..for u irrelavent people [;

(puff da L)

rofl [06 Feb 2002|06:33pm]
kuz i sling da wite as sn0w rockz..and if i dont get my money on time den u get sh0t

yah my new mob name is slingshot..bahahaha

(13 hitz | puff da L)

dat sucked [06 Feb 2002|01:13pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

My Horoscope:
You'll probably be willing to make many sacrifices for the financial betterment of you and your partner right now. It's a good time to try to restructure any kind of joint financial arrangements, and to think about paying off some debt or about different ways that you might be able to invest your money.

Dam baby dick da last rap u wrote was exciting/but ta win da fite of life u gone have ta do a whole lot of fighting/before i go farther ders sumthin i gotta confess/ur lyrics are like our relationship..dey neva progress/u weak and pointless plus ya shit dont tell a tale/so ima spit ill words at u like lyrical hail/u cant even spell the big words dat u be sayin/i was da only pussy u eva got...from now on u probly payin/weed neva fucked me up it was da mistake of gettin witchu/aw little dicked nigga u sad..heres a tissue/its not that im loose its just dat ya dicks too small/and my shit sure aint stank..u was smellin backfire from ya ballz/why u kept gettin chumped well heres da answer to da riddle/why couldnt u work da middle? kuz ya thing to little...oooh n0!

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